Chatterton, Thomas: The Art of Puffing

By a Bookseller's Journeman

Vers'd by experience in the subtle art,

The myst'ries of a title I impart:

Theach the young author how to please the town,

And make the heavy drug of thyme go down.

Since Curl, immortal, never-fying name!

A double Pica in the book of Fame,

By various arts did various dunces prop,

And tickled ev'ry fancy to his shop,

Who can, like Pottinger, ensure a book?

Who judges with the solid taste of Cooke?

Villains, exalted. in the midway sky,

Shall live again to drain your purses dry:

Nor yet unrivall'd they; see Baldwin comes,

Rich in inventions, patents, cuts, and hums:

The honourable Boswell writes, `tis true, -

What else can Paoli's supporter do?

The trading wits endeavour to attain,

Like booksellers, the world's first idol gain;

For this they puff the heavy Goldsmith's line.

And hail his sentiment, though trite, divine;

For this the patriotic bard complains,

And Bingley binds poor Liberty in chains;

For this was ev’ry reader's faithe deceiv’d,

And Edmunds swore what nobody believ’d;

For this the wits in close disguises fight;

For this the varying politicians write;

For this each month new magazines are sold,

With dulness fill’d and transcripts of the old.

The Town and Country struck a lucky hit,

Was novel, sentimental, full of wit:

Aping her walk, the same success to find,

The Court and City hobbles far behind.

Sons of Apollo learn ; merit's no more

Than a good frontispiece to grace the door.

The author who invents a title well

Will always find his covered dulness sell;

Flexney and ev’ry bookseller will buy,

Bound in neat calf the work will never die.