There was an Old Man of Moldavia,
Who had the most curious behaviour;
For while he was able,
He slept on a table,
That funny Old Man of Moldavia
There was an Old Man of Madras,
Who rode on a cream-coloured ass;
But the length of its ears,
So promoted his fears,
That it killed that Old Man of Madras.
There was an Old Man of Peru,
Who never knew what he should do;
So he tore off his hair,
And behaved like a bear,
That intrinsic Old Man of Peru.
There was an Old Person whose habits,
Induced him to feed upon Rabbits;
When he'd eaten eighteen,
He turned perfectly green,
Upon which he relinquished those habits.
There was an old person of Dover,
Who rushed through a field of blue Clover;
But some very large bees,
Stung his nose and his knees,
So he very soon went back to Dover.
There was an Old Man of Marseilles,
Whose daughters wore bottle-green veils;
They caught several Fish,
Which they put in a dish,
And sent to their Pa at Marseilles.
There was an Old Man of Quebec,
A beetle ran over his neck;
But he cried, "With a needle,
I'll slay you, O beadle!"
That angry Old Man of Quebec.
There was an Old Man or Nepaul,
From his horse had a terrible fall;
But, though split quite in two,
By some very strong glue,
They mended that Man of Nepaul.
There was an Old Person of Rhodes,
Who strongly objected to toads;
He paid several cousins,
To catch them by dozens,
That futile Old Person of Rhodes.
There was a Young Lady of Lucca,
Whose lovers completely forsook her;
She ran up a tree,
And said, "Fiddle-de-dee!"
Which embarrassed the people of Lucca.
There was an Old Lady whose folly,
Induced her to sit in a holly;
Whereon by a thorn,
Her dress being torn,
She quickly became melancholy.
There was an Old Person of Troy,
Whose drink was warm brandy and soy;
Which he took with a spoon,
By the light of the moon,
In sight of the city of Troy.
There was an Old Man of Calcutta,
Who perpetually ate bread and butter;
Till a great bit of muffin,
On which he was stuffing,
Choked that horrid old man of Calcutta.
There was an Old Man of Corfu,
Who never knew what he should do;
So he rushed up and down,
Till the sun made him brown,
That bewildered Old Man of Corfu.
There was an Old Man of the West,
Who never could get any rest;
So they set him to spin,
On his nose find his chin,
Which cured that Old Man of the West.
There was an Old Man of Berlin,
Whose form was uncommonly thin;
Till he once, by mistake,
Was mixed up in a cake,
So they baked that Old Man of Berlin.
There was a Young Lady of Wales,
Who caught a large fish without scales;
When she lifted her hook,
She exclaimed, "Only look!"
That ecstatic Young Lady of Wales.
There was an Old Man with an owl,
Who continued to bother and howl;
He sate on a rail,
And imbibed bitter ale,
Which refreshed that Old Man and his owl.
There was an Old Lady of Prague,
Whose language was horribly vague;
When they said, "Are these caps?"
She answered, "Perhaps!"
That oracular Lady of Prague.
There was an old man of Thermopylæ,
Who never did anything properly;
But they said, "If you choose,
To boil eggs in your shoes,
You shall never remain in Thermopylæ."
There was an Old Man of Kamschatka,
Who possessed a remarkably fat cur,
His gait and his waddle,
Were held as a model,
To all the fat dogs in Kamschatka.
There was an Old Man, who said, "Well!
Will NOBODY answer this bell?
I have pulled day and night,
Till my hair has grown white,
But nobody answers this bell!"
There was an Old Person of Tartary,
Who divided his jugular artery;
But he screeched to his wife,
And she said, "Oh, my life!
Your death will be felt by all Tartary!"
There was an Old Man who said, "How,—
Shall I flee from this horrible Cow?
I will sit on this stile,
And continue to smile,
Which may soften the heart of that Cow."
There was an Old Person of Gretna,
Who rushed down the crater of Etna;
When they said, "Is it hot?"
He replied, "No, it's not!"
That mendacious Old Person of Gretna.